Optional Essay Question

I’m not embarrassed to admit that watching a bunch of overpaid actors in “Valentine’s Day” got me in the mood. It may not be a porno or even an erotic movie, but it had me thinking how much I would like to have a hardcore make out session with Anne Hathaway *ahem* I meant Ashton Kutcher, of course… And, since I don’t have any kind of companionship lately and my vibrator just run out of batteries I have to focus that energy into something else. So, I’m switching to a nostalgic mood, just like that.

I’ve wanted to write about my college years here, for a while now. Somehow I couldn’t come up with something other than: Look how well I pull off the construction look!!

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Now, I realize I shouldn’t focus on college itself, since it wasn’t the homework, projects or classes that made these years so amazing… It was the people (Big “aww!” please!)

I shouldn’t even bother writing a corny entry, since it isn’t a corny generation. I don’t know if it’s the time and age, but I would define my classmates as… Attention whores, each one in their own way.

(While I try to describe each kind, keep in mind I don’t have any plans to pursue the comedic path, I’m aware of my limitations)

Hippie Girl. If it was up to her, the whole career would be about explaining how she designed the building based on peaceful thoughts.

Inappropriate Guy. “Penis! Are you, people, listening to me? I said penis! Vagina! Now I said Vagina! Penis in Vagina! Sex! Sex! TWO GIRLS ONE CUP!”

AlwaysRight Girl. And if she isn’t, she’ll throw a fit so the universe change its course and she’ll be right again.

TooGoodForYouFuckers Guy. He likes to think of himself as an already graduated student who’s doing the rest of us a favor by showing up to classes. I see very kinky sex between him and AlwaysRight Girl.

IWillJustThrowRandomComments Girl. “Have I told you I’m going to marry a Colombian? I would but I hate being so fat! I’m a virgin, if you were wondering; and I’d kill for sushi right now… Aren’t you worried about skin cancer?”.

Alternative Guy. I know this is a phase most teenagers go through… But he’s already 20, you’d think he’d be done with telling people how cool he is for liking Alice in Wonderland before it became mainstream.

TooGayToFunction Guy. If I said that I’d love him even more if he stopped complaining about how his Burberry wallet and Prada cell phone were so last season I’d be lying.

Perfect Guy. He’s hot and a gentleman, every girl in my class has a crush on him. I would too if I didn’t have the feeling he has a thing with the TooGaytoFunction Guy.

CompletePackage Girl. The female version of the guy above. Pretty, nice, smart, big boobs… What keeps her from being the Perfect Girl? Unlike her male version, she’s into the opposite sex.

HardWorker Guy. I have nothing but respect for a guy who is majoring in two things.

YoYoMothaFocka Guy. Oh man, this whitey sure loves acting like a nigga.

I’m missing a bunch others (who are equally fascinating… I’m just lazy), including me.  I’m an attention whore, just like the others, I just don’t know which kind. I’m rooting for the:

LooksGreatWhenShePretendsToBeAConstructionWorker Girl.

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(And if you turn your head a bit to the right you may get to meet the TooGoodForYouFuckers Guy).

I said it before, I can’t come up with something corny to say about these people. I will, however, say this: Just the way they are, each and every single one of them is fucking awesome. I just hope I have attention-whored myself enough so they’ll miss me as much as I’ll miss them.



Filed under College

23 responses to “Optional Essay Question

  1. ace

    haha many of my fellow students fit in that scheme, too. but sadly, we don’t have a LooksGreatWhenShePretendsToBeAConstructionWorker Girl ;-(

    if you’re half as funny in RL they’ll surely miss you

    • You may have a LooksGreatWhenShePretendsToBeAConstructionWorker Girl but she haven’t had the chance to show it off (:
      And my sense of humor depends highly on whether I feel comfortable with the person. I can be the most boring girl ever if I don’t like you.

  2. Mike

    Well, I gotta say that last pic is price-fucking-less xD

    Come to think of it, most of my classmates aren’t anything like that. They all seem very generic, with only one or 2 exceptions… Most of them are the IDon’tGiveARatsAssAboutThis kinda guys 😛

  3. Strange introduction to another good entry. I wouldn’t consider stand-up for you, but maybe with a little practice you’d master it. I’d also consider rechargeable batteries for future problems like that, ahem.

    As for your colleagues, I almost envy the fact that you actually get to meet yours. My classes don’t allow for such things to happen unless we’re forced into group projects, each person is a mystery and could be anyone… Until that one faithful day that they open their mouths, either intelligently or completely idiotically, which seems to be the only two options. Being in your major however, I’m sure that’s the reason for getting to know them, luckyyyyyyy. If I had to classify myself.. I’d be.. TooQuietInTheFirstPartOfTheSemesterThenTooLoudTheSecondHalf guy.

    And like ace said, if your everyday life is even half-projected to your writing, they definitely will miss you. PS: Not to be a strange person, hm.. which we all are? But anyway, I actually met a girl that looks like you! Haha, I’ll take a picture and post it somehow.

    • Me? Standup comedy? No thanks, I just peed in my panties and that was enough for me.
      We are the first generation of architecture students my college has, so we are a small group… After having every single class with the same people you get to know them. Like it or not (we decided to like it, I guess).
      And, please, please. Let me see this girl. I love meeting look-a-likes; I guess is a way to discover how people see you.

  4. I sure hope they let you keep the helmet, otherwise outside class you would just be a WouldLookGreatPretendingToBeAConstructionWorkerButIsUnfortunatelyNotTooConvincingDueToTheLackOfImportantDetails Girl. Which would hardly fit any ID.

    • Don’t worry; I bought that helmet with my own money… It’s mine, mine, mine.And the boots are from my punk rock days.
      So I can pull off this outfit whenever a feel like it (:

      • Mmm, punk rock industrial worker. Sounds interesting.

      • I woulnd’t say that out loud, being just a wanna-be.
        Real punk rocker construction workers would throw rocks at me (…or concrete, singing God Save the Queen at the top of their lungs).
        By the way… I’m learning Italian, hopefully I’ll be able to understand your blog soon enough.

  5. You look like you’re wishing the hole was deeper in that last picture lol.

  6. horstkevin

    This helmet makes you look tough!

    • I am tough, yo! (Sad attempt to sound cool)
      I wanted to check out your blog but… auf wiedersehen… That’s all the german I speak ):

      • horstkevin

        I just read in a comment why you know “auf wiedersehen” in German… it’s a sad story. I hope you are still friends, though.

        When are you going to fly to Spain?

      • Oh! No… I’m guessing you think I know it because my ex left for Germany… I actually learnt it from Project Runway *blush* …And my ex and I talk to each other quiet frequently (:
        I’m leaving July 30 (:

  7. horstkevin

    Now I understand 😉

    Well, I wish you an extremely nice time in Spain then! Hope you will enjoy it!

  8. phew, construction worker.,.that makes two of us

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